Outlining, I get it now.

Outlining, I get it now.

I can totally see why people outline their stories first. Wowza! I just did (for the first time). And it really helps. It clarifies how you want things to go. It is so much better than writing blind with no real aim. Writing blind makes the story and characters scattery. Dang! Also, outlines are fun. Nobody told me that. They sure weren't fun in school. But I feel like I just read an awesome book.
So many ideas flowed out on how I wanted the story to go and what I wanted to tell in the story. This rocks! I shall do it more often!
It's my fault. People have always told me to do outlines but did I listen? No. Why? Well because I'm stubborn and lazy. Also, I just wanted to let it flow. But what I didn't think ah flow where Casse!? And how? Now this is an outline for a story that I wrote then lost. It was tragic! I was devastated. I am debating going back and outlining all my unfinished projects so I can actually "unstuck" myself and get them done.

In other news. I just received the best inspiring words. My official author girl crush, Jeri Smith-Ready put the idea that one day aspiring writers will be inspired by me. WHAT A THOUGHT! And she Tweeted it. So yeah people. It's out there. Google logged it. Google Jeri's name and CatholicKittie, BAMM! It's there. Not sure I believe her incredibly sweet and kind words, but coming from someone I respect and admire. It sure is the niiicest thing to hear. If I can make anyone love a book and reading 1/4 as much as she can I will have done what I set out to do. Write a story I feel is worth telling and reading.
I guess I should mention, the compliment was semi-solicitated. It was in twitter response to a blog I wrote. But whatever I takes it!
Ciao.
　

Queen of Procrastination

Whoa I really am the Queen of Procrastination! I was supposed to be writing this blog about how I was supposed to be POSTING a blog about a friend of mine’s doubt in my romance novel writing skills but I hadn’t formed it outside of my head yet so it would have to wait until tomorrow and guess what? I got sidetracked with YouTube and twitter while I was supposed be writing this blog. Imagine that procrastinating writing a blog about procrastination. That is bad.
Speaking of twitter. I fought joining Twitter for so long and for what? I love rambling and I love being nosey in people’s lives. So you would think Twitter and I are a perfect fit. And we are. So what took me so long to realize. I can tweet with random strangers while responding to famous people who have no clue who I am and could careless if I respond to their Tweet or not, but still I do it. I love it lol.
Ok I might as well get on with the lack of “experience” on writing a sex scene for my book. Okay, yes as my friend so rudely pointed out, I obviously am not going to write them based on anything in my life. As he would say and I quote, “What the hell does a twenty-six year old virgin know about writing hott sex? You even told me you skip all those pages when you read them. You, a romance writer? There was a time when you hated and refused to read a book with any romance in it at all.”

I am a writer, or so I like to tell myself. I write a lot of things I have never seen or felt, but I can imagine. That's all I do! I live many stories in my head when I am laying in bed while I am supposed to be trying to fall asleep. And I am a girl I think I can come up with hotness in the romance department if I really want to think about it. Heck, I am the girl who wrote about her first time for an anthology (that never came out) when it hasn’t even happened yet. Lol. And Hello I have changed a lot in 6 years. I didn’t like romance books at 20 or was it 22? I am 26 years old now. Things change. And maybe I will start reading entire books now, no skipping “those” pages. But in my defense I am not a prude but why the heck does it have to be so long? How long do you really want foreplay and sex to go on before it just gets tedious? Seriously ladies! Come on. Maybe it’s just me. And above all I am a writer…it’s my job to sell it and make you believe it. And I will! So there! And also His last thing was. “Can I read that story you wrote about your first time?” My answer to him was No! But yall can. Of course I didn't use my real name in it though because that seemed too weird to me but here it is. And no it's not pages and pages of pointless imagery nor is there any flicking of man boobs.
　
I didn’t Mind
I lost my virginity to Aaron Neville’s “Feels like rain”. Now there are much worse songs to lose it to, but honestly I can’t think of one better. It was a dark but warm night. The sky was very clear and the stars winked down at us. Well me, since I was the one in the position to see them. My back lay pressed against the solid wood of the picnic table in his backyard. The blanket we used for the table cloth was cool against my bare back. I was not married like I always imagined I would be, no. Neither was I a wide doe-eyed school girl. I was 25 years old for goodness sakes. I was not naïve in what this meant. There was no make believe promises of forever. Because knowing me, I would have kept my clothes on and left if he did make, what I would consider, false promises. Love had long since broke my faith in forever. I was jaded. Many would be surprised that I was in this situation.
I was with a man that I trusted enough to give him a part of me I held back from everyone else. And maybe it was the beers we had had that night, or heck it could have been the song itself. It has a way of making you feel, just coveted on a warm balmy night. Which ever the case, the mood was right, the soft lips that was his kiss on my neck was right. The strong and gentle hands on my hips…were just right. And with him, it felt…I don’t know. Just, well, right.
I felt the weight of him, and I didn’t mind it. I felt his touch, somewhat greedy but still patient, and I didn’t mind it. The pain, which I had been warned of all my life, yet I still was not prepared for how severe it was. The friction inside of something that had remained empty for 25 years. Suddenly being rubbed and filled over and over repeatedly. That I did mind. And if it weren’t for his warm hands holding my hands above my head against the table and his mouth against my lips in a passionate kiss, I would have most likely pushed myself free from the torture I was allowing him to put me through. But then again, with one look in his eyes I probably wouldn’t have. His eyes never left my face. Which, okay was a bit creepy yes, but again…I didn’t mind. All I could do is lose myself in his face and not think about the pain that made me want to punch him across his jaw. I saw a spark in his eye and his hands tightened over mine and finally he just lay over me and then after a few seconds where I thought I was going to suffocate to death because his weight kept me from breathing, he rolled over and pulled me into him. Tight, snug against his chest. And as much as I hate to be touched much less embraced this tight and close. I didn’t mind. That is when I realized what love meant for me. The not minding. And it hit me like a brick. Damn. I was in love with this man. Crap. What was I going to do? I knew what other girls did when they were in love, but anybody who ever met me knows right off I am not other girls. I felt him looking at me so I forced myself out of my head and reminded myself, I was here in his arms. Ignoring the instant eruption of butterflies, I focused on him.
“Okay, normal I,- It’s not normally that brief.”
I shrugged against him. “Hey I do not mind at all. Trust me for a girl who is losing her virginity the shorter the better. So I appreciate it.”
He looked at me. “Are you trying to help?”
“YEAH! I’m just saying the shit hurt, so I am glad its over.”
“KAYE! What the hell?”
I looked at him confused. “What did I say?”
He laughed softly. “I am your first, so I have an obligation to you know, put it down. And you tell me you just wanted it to be over.”
I grimaced. “Okay, yeah that sounds bad, but it is not at all like that. It just hurt, a lot. Hey I was just trying to help you feel better about it not being your usual marathon okay?”
He just looked at me with pretend anger. So I continued. “If it helps you are the best I ever had.”
At that his loud laughter filled the warm night air as well as vibrated my cheek as it rested against his chest and warmed my heart as well. I grinned against him. He put his arms around me and held me tight. And of course I didn’t mind.

Excerpt from upcoming project

"The problem is you love Lucifer more than you love me." Dartainian looked absolutely
devastated as he proclaimed this.
I shook my head as I responded. "I could be totally condescending and say not more just differently. But that would be degrading to both our intelligence. All I can say is why does it have to be a problem? Lets just take it as a fact just like it's a fact we have children with other people. Fact, that you cheated on me. Giving up on me before we ever really had gotten started. And I am not saying that to justify myself or my actions. Okay, I love him more. Always. I always will. Fact. But look where I am. I am right here. With you not him." I thought that would be a clear point to sway Dartainian to my point.
"You ARE with him Dhylaka. You always will be. You keep him in your heart and when you move you are doing it for him. And when you touch me, you are touching him in your mind. When I touch you, it's-"
"NO. Never. His touch is not yours."
Dartainian's voice was almost a whisper but more hoarse. "Or do you mean my touch is not his? No, the Three in One forbid me saying my touch is like his. That would be such desecration of what you two shared."
I could have hit him and gotten away with it by playing the slapping sort of woman that we both knew I was not. But there would be no real passion behind it. There would be no real hurt behind the slap. His words had not stung. They were truthful in that twisted way Lucifer and I had. The hit would only be for the purpose of changing the subject. And I have never struck out without the intent to kill and nor would I start now.


I hope you enjoyed this small excerpt from book 2 of the desecration series. I am trying to look into giving away the first book Born Through Desecration, free soon. Right before Desecration's Daughter is released. I am also working on Death Knows My Name which is totally different than the Desecration series being Desecration was started when I was 18 years old, about 8 years ago. I have learned a lot about telling a story since then. So I will keep you updated.

Sagara's and Smith-Ready's and Murphy's OH MY!

Just recently I was ask, "as an aspiring writer, who do I read and admire?" So that got me thinking. I do tend to read authors whom I like to imagine write like my style or do I write like those I like to read? This question was almost literally like opening a can of worms. Lets just say I read books by authors who write like how I WISH I could write; rather I do or not is up to your opinion. They write characters who are witty, sarcastic, flawed, ya know? Strong women who have a vulnerable side that enders you towards them. They love the dark, mysterious, good hearted loner/bad boy.

These authors are smart women who frankly, I am jealous of! Jeri Smith-Ready, C.E. Murphy, Michelle Sagara are among the few I read. I blaze through their books as soon as they are released.

Patricia Briggs is another I read. Mercy Thompson, one of her well-known characters, is one of my favorite people err characters EVER!

Anne Rice, I don't even dream to write like her. I normally read books by authors whose talent I am a tiny bit jealous of, but its pointless to be jealous of Rice. Jealousy is thinking they have something you should or could have. I know I will never be Anne Rice like. I admire her talent and that's that. Its as pointless as the moon being jealous of the sun's brightness. The moon is bright and great on its own. I use to say I don't want to be the next Anne Rice; I'm fine with being the only Casse. Which is true. All jealousy aside.

What I admire about these wonderful ladies are:

Anne Rice's lyrical style. Her knowledge and her ability to evolve a story from paper and paint it as a moving masterpiece. One can't blaze through her books. You have to sit, read and absorb it and have the story haunt you as you lie awake in bed.

C.E Murphy's dedication to research and her wit alone is enough to make me admire her. Not many people have that drive. And very few people can train themselves to develop it. All her characters are lovable even the bad guys. And if dragons, vampires and djinn were believable, then it would be her's.

Jeri Smith-Ready's every girl sensibility leaps out and grabs you. Jeri's ability to be friend you from her pages is irresistible. Her humor and her quick wit and her ability to write the most realistic, everyday characters. She is like the girl next door only a lot well...cooler! Yes, you can say she is girl crush worthy lol.

Michelle Sagara's world building is breath-taking. Oh Em GEEE! I open her book and it leaps off the pages and I am standing in an unheard of world and it is vibrant and the people are alive and seamless. From first word to the very last period and everything in-between I am hanging on every single world.

Marie Brennan I think has the smartest dialog in the history of words on a pad. Honestly. Her characters knowledge blows me away. And I feel so much smarter after reading her book. Well the same with C.E Murphy. I believe it is the amount of knowledge and hours a research these ladies are willing to do and the amount of love they have for the research. I always say it's fiction so who is to say how things work in MY world. I am lazy and Sagara-West so is NOT lazy in research.

Patricia Briggs's honesty, characters and her ability to truly tell a story worth telling. And oh yeah I find it worth hearing. And another great point to prove this lady writes her butt off and creates GREAT characters, can you say Adam Hauptman? Mmmm girl! Throw in Dr. Samuel Cornick and be still my over stimulated heart.

These are the rock stars in my urban fantasy/paranormal romance loving world. The only non-fantasy writer I read religiously is Virginia Kantra, The Children of the Sea...wait that is still paranormal. :-) I guess I am just a fantasy girl. But Kantra's world is so close to real life I think it IS real life. Too bad I can't swim because her men are HAWWWT! The worlds and characters she builds are spectacular. All I can say is her stories are like real life, if in my real life sexy, mysterious men popped naked from the ocean everyday with soft fur flung over their shoulders. :-) Heck, a girl can wish right?!